


What I really Want To Say Is I Love You

by Unicornsfartglitter



Series: What Becomes Of Us [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Artsy, Love, M/M, No Smut, ambiguous ending, i guess, let's pretend it's a happy ending, look at me!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:42:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11535294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsfartglitter/pseuds/Unicornsfartglitter
Summary: Negan pushes Simon away but sometimes you realize love is all that matters.





	What I really Want To Say Is I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really digging this fic and it has no smut!

_"_ Simon!” Negan watched as his right hand man sunk down to his knees screaming. He quickly shot the last two survivors wishing he could make the one who shot Simon pay but he was more important. “Stay with me okay!” There was so much blood and all he knew to do was apply pressure. Calling for his Saviors to be gentle they loaded his friend up and hit the road.

Negan held his hand all night long and well into the morning, Simon would make it but only because the gunshot was one inch from a vital artery and they got to the compound fast. Dwight gave his fair share of blood and lucky for him it was enough because Negan would of drained his whole body it if he had to. Eyes fluttered open.

“Hey dumb shit, welcome to the world of the living!” Moaning when he started to chuckle Negan pressed him down to the bed. “No moving. What were you thinking?” The events came flooding back. “Negan are you okay?” That's when he noticed the leader's hand holding his. “Yeah fucker, thanks to you. That was a close one.” Not taking back his hand Simon closed his eyes. “As long as you're okay, that's all that matters.”

_Simon watched his boss scour the woods like the back of his hand, each confident step sending them closer down an uncleared path. They all were tripping over roots and stumbling on uneven ground but Negan tread through gracefully. “Those fuckers think they can kill our men and take their shit and run, it's the last thing they will do.” Giving his group a sign to quiet down he pushed shrubbery back to reveal the spineless men who shot their friends in the back._

_Waiting for a brown haired man to go back inside Negan directed his group to surround the house. He watched as his boss all tall and lean took the lead, his black jeans hugging his ass and that belt looking too good on his hips that swayed soundlessly. The other group didn't know what hit them and soon it was down to one man, that's when Simon saw another come from behind a wooden ladder and aim his gun at Negan. He knew what needed to be done, pushing Negan out of the way searing pain blazed his shoulder before he felt nothing. “Simon!” He looked into the man's eyes, the only one who mattered in this forsaken land, if he lived, nothing else mattered. “Stay with me okay!” Darkness ebbed away at his light._

Negan squeezed a sleeping hand for way too long, his friend proved his loyalty, he wondered many a time if he was in such a situation would his life just be over. These fuckers really did hate him, apparently not Simon though. Taking his fingers back he went to do some work, a sinking feeling in his chest. He convinced himself it was not letting that asshat who shot Simon suffer.

“Stop feeding me! I'm not a damn baby!” Negan pulled the spoon back. “Excuse me. Food isn't an easy commodity now and I'd like to see you eat this food with no waste using your left hand.” He smirked when Simon gestured for another spoonful. “I could always put on a candy striper dress, make it worth your while.” Simon faked a grossed out face as he tried to contain the tent on his pants at the image.

Simon felt great, physical therapy helped and he was proud that he could shoot a target miles away like before. There was worry that his full range of motion wouldn't recover but here he was, no muscle pain from pulling the trigger even. “That's my boy!” Negan praised, sending a secret chill up his body. His boss pulled a arm around his good shoulder and they walked to the canteen to eat together like they always did, side by side.

Simon put a white t shirt on and checked his hair in the mirror. He was wearing his best jeans, a size too tight to display his toned ass and the shirt was just snug enough. This was the day, Negan would know how he felt and everything indicated it was mutual. There was no plan if he was wrong. Negan would laugh it off or send him packing, maybe beat the shit out of him but time was wasting. He took a bullet for this man and he would take another. If things went South for him oh well, you only lived once.

Negan led him to a new car, a 1967 chevy impala in mint condition. “Nice right? It's insides are as smooth as the outside, there was this show back before. It had a assload of seasons and the brothers, they drove one of these. I guess Hollywood didn't find this one to gut up just for entertainment.” Simon ran a hand down the gloss paint, it looked like the original paint job. “I think I remember that show, let's take a ride.” It was all trust as Negan pitched him the keys.

The engine purred to life, the word “baby” coming to his mind. Dwight opened the gates and Negan gave a smug grin flicking him off. “Dwights a pansy ass follower. If I asked him to wipe my dirty ass he would. Probably with his tongue.” Simon's eyes left the road, just long enough to see Negan's pink tongue slide along his lips. “Not you though, you would take a bullet for me but tell me to fuck myself when it came to an ass cleaning.” Flooring the gas Simon leaned back in his seat, a cocky grin clouding his face.

They stopped at a lake and Negan got out. He handed his right hand man a bag of homemade jerky and a beer out the cooler. Simon furrowed his eyebrows. “That genius Eugene. Found a way to bottle beer.” Twisting the cap he took a whiff of normal smelling beer or at least how he thought he remembered it. “Sure it's not poisoned?” Negan grabbed it from his hand and took a big sip. “Well if it is i'm a goner, better me than you.” Taking a big swig himself Simon turned to face his fearless leader. “I guess we go together then.” There was that big toothed smile he dreamed of each night, this was it. Now or never.

“What the hell simon?” Negan ran his leathered arm up his mouth and spat on the ground. “I'm sorry Negan.” There were no punches thrown or being holsted in a river. Just pure contempt in stormy eyes, gloved fists clenching down. “I guess I just read the situation wrong.” Lucille didn't pop out of her seat in the back, Negan kicked the shiny metal of the spotless car. “Damn it! You sure fucking did!” He got in the driver's side seat and yelled through the open window. “Keys!” Simon threw them through the opening speculating he would be left.

“Well? Get your fucking ass in the car! Daylight's burning!” Silence filled the air of the heated car. Angry fingers strummed the steering wheel. Dwight opened the gates but no playful actions took the scene. The engine shook, keys stayed in the ignition. Simon didn't move, scared to break the spell though he wasn't sure what it mattered. Things had changed and the future uncertain. Negan let out a long sigh finally shutting the car off. “You saved my life. I would like to think that makes no difference. That you made a mistake and I'm decent enough to see the whole picture. All I know is what I know. That kiss, it didn't happen. I don't know what tickles your pickle, never have and never will. We work hard, and provide, I have your back and you mine. Leader and right hand man. Trust, that's what we have here, the two of us. Right?”

Simon swallowed down the big lump in his throat, willing his mistake away. “Right.” Negan rubbed at his tired eyes and opened the door when Simon caught his wrist before pulling back quickly. “That day I took that bullet. That's because I'm Negan. It wasn't some damn Disney movie charade. I did it because you were my boss and you matter most.” Negan looked his way, almost a believable smirk that was his trademark. “Damn straight.” They both got out, almost believing the lies they told.

Time changes nothing. A month can't undo actions with consequences. A right hand man protects his boss and a boss worries when his right hand pushes himself too hard. There is an uneasiness when they eat at a table thigh to thigh or laugh at someone's joke and glimpse each other's eyes. Simon stabs a walker through the head one bite away from Negan's arm like second nature. A Savior hits on Simon raking her soft hands up his strong arms. Negan tells himself he doesn't give a fuck and when he punches a wall the only reason is because his stress induced migraine is at the maximum.

Relief drags through Negan's core, a eerily calm when Rachel, the curly haired brunette sits next to Dwight at breakfast the next day. Laughing too hard and brushing hair off her delicate shoulders. Simon gives him a soft smile when he sits down. Joseph tells a funny story of the old world of a rainy and horrible wedding. The trials they went through to attempt a perfect day that ended in a divorce less than a year later. Everyone laughs at the table and when Negan meets friends eyes they are soft and open. When Negan's hand accidentally brushes his thigh it's not the end of the world.

Sickness rains down. A child gets sick, a run of the mill virus. Only the mother gets sick too and before the two Doctors can see it, it's an epidemic and twelve are sick. A hall is quarantined and the first two sick perish. The illness doesn't discriminate. Young and old, healthy and weak succumb to it. Doctor's offices and hospitals are raided trying to find something that is not known. His best men run themselves down trying to find syringes and peachtree dishes. Then a Savior gets sick, one of his closest.

Negan makes runs himself, gives free fruit and vegetables to strengthen immune systems. More Saviors get days off and the anger and fear bubble over in their leader's core. They are close to a cure, a far gone patient is tested but turns. Negan wants to run but that would be the coward's way out. Then the inevitable happens, Dwight delivers the news. Simon carried in two large boxes of supplies and went back to the truck for one more and collapses. Negan doesn't want to hear the rest, refuses to. He slams the door in Dwight's face if only to scream at Lucille, tell her she made him weak.

Life doesn't matter if you're alone and miserable. Lucile's words, not his. Life is wasted if you're just bullshitting. That's truer words Negan thinks. This is it, nothing else matters in this moment. Burn the place to the ground with him in it. A Doctor yells, giving statistics as he's ignored. Sickly eyes stare as he walks the gurneys. The stench of death and sickness invade his nostrils. He sees it, his oasis.

Simon looks up and smiles before frowning. “What are you doing here Negan?” The Leader sits down on his bed, takes his poker cards away and shuffles them to use his hands. “I was wrong. You saved my life and it wasn't because you took a bullet.” He turns in the bed, grabs the back of clammy skin and presses his lips to Simon's, his future no matter how long it is. “I'm sorry I was so blind but I need you, no matter where we end up, be it a fiery pit.” Simon smiles, pushes into him further just to demand a second kiss.

Dr. Carson told Negan he thinks he's close to a cure, another two days tops. If it's successful. Love has no time stamp and happiness sometimes only last a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> I had other fics I should have been doing.


End file.
